lkj

10 October 2012

frankly: on self reflection



This time of year is always accompanied by a lot of thinking for me, I'm never sure whether its the changing of seasons and the reminder that things are constantly moving, the reminder of past events or the fact that I turn another year older. Regardless of what triggers it, October is always a time of reflection. A time of uncertainty, questioning, dreams that are up in the air & intangible and introspection that is deep, sometimes uncomfortable and, at times painful. It's the type of introspection that forces you to dig deep inside your soul and really look at yourself, where you are, who you are and where you want to go. It's healing.

It's inspiring. To know that I have so many options, but it can also be overwhelming. Lately I've been receiving a ton of emails from the University Careers service about finding employment post-graduation. They don't really apply to me - I'll be back here again next year doing my Masters - but they do make me think. When I first applied to Uni, I had a plan. A good plan. I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life and University was the first step to achieving that.

But now?

Now I don't have a plan. I'm not sure what I want to do with my life when I graduate. The career that I envisaged for myself I'm no longer sure that I want. Earlier this year this was a huge problem for me, it really got me down that I didn't have a 'plan', because I really like plans. At the moment though, I'm entirely okay with not having a plan. I'm studying a subject that I love and I think that's all that matters right now. I have a long time before I have to worry about it, so I'm letting it go.


Breathing out. And letting stuff go. Its good, so so good.

12 comments:

  1. Good conclusion to come to :) I spent about a year after graduation desperately trying to get the 'dream job' I had in my mind.. only to realise I actually wanted to do something else. It will all fall into place when it needs to :)

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  2. Agreed. You'll get there lovely x

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  3. Whenever I am unsure of something big and then I finally make a decision, I miss the part where I didn't know. Not knowing what your plan is means that the possibilities are endless :D

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  4. I love this post.
    I'm definitely the type of person who is always, always making plans... but it's so important to tell ourselves just to LIVE for once, you know?

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  5. Great post. I feel like I just feel like this all the time since I've graduated : ) Sometimes it gets clearer what you want to do, and sometimes it just gets foggier. But there's always a lot to be grateful for. And I love your last picture. I need to do this so much more often.

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  6. I feel the same as the past you - I love plans. I don't do anything without a plan and feel totally bad when something goes wrong. Anyway, one wise woman told me that if your studies don't make you have fun, you should'n continiue. And if they do... your decision 'what next?' can wait;)

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  7. I know just what you mean- I like a plan (and a tickl list!) and that's hard to let go of! But the best stuff happens when you embrace the in between things and notice all you are capable of. Sounds like a good place to be in. Enjoy!

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  8. This is such a good reminder. I think sometimes we spend so much time worrying about the 'what next' that we forget to enjoy now! I have to tell myself that I will cross that bridge when I get there, these things seem to work out :)

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  9. I so know how you are feeling right now. I had a plan, and then I didn't, but then I did and then I didn't again... And the more I tried to force a career plan, the more badly things were going - I nearly ended up working in Corporate PR! Yikes! When I finally let go of it, I landed in my dream job. There's a lot to be said for just letting go sometimes :)

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  10. I like plans too, and I used to have a plan. But I'm not sure what happened to it, I guess it didn't plan out the way I planned even if I had a plan, haha. But sometimes it might be good to not have a plan, to just go with flow. Who knows where you might end up. Hopefully (and probably) in a good place :)

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  11. I like this blog its a master peace ! .

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  12. I completely get this. I am working on my final master project, and I have no idea whatsoever what i want afterwards. It scares me, but I do have hope for doing great things. We'll see ;)

    x

    Marielle

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